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How to master the art of BM

Posted by PopeJohnXII on 25/04/2017

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This is a guide on how to be rude, plain nasty, and not fun to play with

Introduction

Despite Faeria's friendly community, attractive European accents, and almost Candian manners, after weeks of playing you stumble into a bloody American on your enjoyable climb up the ladder. He spams emotes, and as you struggle through the thousands of dollars he spent making a full mythic deck, you find him at your orb with a one turn lethal: "Greetings". Oh, now he answers your attempt at being friendly 10 minutes ago. "Well Played" you respond, being the good sport that you are. You alt+ctrl+tab to finish that job application, and coming back around to Faeria, you find that it's your turn. IMPOSSIBLE! There's no way the American missed that line. No, he used all his cards because he could. Sighing, you surrender. How can someone enjoy themseles playing like that? I'm glad you asked, you've come to the right place.

The Difference Between Having BM and Being a Kid

Not everybody can have BM and be mature at the same time, that stuff takes training. Many people pretend to have mastered BM, but really they act like 10 year olds claiming to be cool. When you act like a kid, you are denying yourself all the fun to be had by being in-your face and insulting. Yes being a kid annoy people, but true satisfaction comes from being able to BM with authority, and for that you have to be good at the game. Below I list the top 3 differences from BM and childish behavior.

1. Whining about Losing

If you are a true master at BM, you will never be in a losing position in a game. You will never need to whine because you spent $$$, and clearly $$$ makes you win every game.

2. Spamming Emotes

Even when BMing, emotes still mean different things from each other. 10 year olds spam these because they have the advantage in that Faeria's emotes all can have negative connotations. However, reaching the rank of Senpai BM means knowing the right times to use emotes, as different emotes have different ways of tilting the opponent.

3. Stalling

Stalling is funny, but it also wastes your time too! Kids will stall when they are about to lose (which a true BMmer would never do), and also because their rich parents don't care how their 10 year old wastes their time. Mature Trolls still have jobs to deal with, and thus value time much more. Disconnecting and turn stalling strategically helps make it so that it looks like you have a hard line to play out, and dish out something really awesome and blatently obvious. However, there are better ways to BM and having good BM means understanding that time is a resource. Don't forget to tag on that "Well Played" after your great play though(and it truly has to be a great play).

Nuances of BM

Emotes

Greetings

Typically, this should be used when you have creatures ready to smack the opponent's orb. However, don't do this with a 1/1 or someother insignificant threat. Actually pose a threat, and have a way to smack the orb. Be ready for any taunts and make good on your word! You don't want them to be disappointed that your greetings was a false call now do you?

You Will Not Survive

People who spam this from the beginning are 10 year olds. People who do this before they win are honorable opponents who don't want to catch you off guard. People who use this before pulling off a combo, or a one turn lethal have BM. The key is that you won't kill them them. Use it to make them sweat. Even better, do it when they expect not to live. Generally, this emote doesn't contribute to BM and for some reason guides tend to do overemphasize this emote. You are a BM god who wins every game. It simply statess the truth and does little to tilt those who know it.

Well Played

Clearly, this emote was created to tell your opponents about your great combos, and not for your opponent to make them feel better for not spending $$$ so they can actually hope to beat you. Some people don't understand that, so try to use this emote on your turn to avoid having your opponent think you were praising them. In general, don't use it better the finishing blow.

That Was a Mistake

Again, there's a misconception that when you make a mistake, you emote. No! You must use this to highlight your opponent's stupidity for not having a grasp on the mechanics like you do.

Amazing

No one ever uses this emote. I bet the developers got paid ad money by some company called "Amazing". Of course, someone has pointed out that you could use it to mock the opponent's uneventful turn. But then you'd be giving ad revenue to Faeria, and you already supported them by spending $$$. Moving on.

Wombo Combo

50% of people hate it when you show your full hand and play a great combo you didn't need to do to finish the game. 50% of people love it when you parade around with the finishing blow because the $$$ you spent on this game will allow you to make combos they would otherwise never see. Therefore, 50% of the time you do random stuff even though you have 1 hit win it's BM. Typically, parading your hand to establish doinance and enforcing the idea that they had no hope from turn 1 is in the vein of BM, so I recommend it.

Last Words

Remember, Faeria is a game. Play it the way you would have fun! If BM is part of your enjoyment, be considerate of others. There is more than one way to have fun. It wouldn't hurt to try to be nice once in a while, who knows? Maybe being nice can help you enjoy the game even more!

Galileus 25/04/2017 05:47

What did I just read? Can I have my time back now, please?

Nettlesoup 25/04/2017 10:04

This is a thing Earthlings use… They call it “hu-morr”, or something like that :slight_smile:

Nettlesoup 25/04/2017 10:07

Dear Pope John Whatever-th! Nobody will read your guide if it’s marked as “advanced”. Make it an “intermediate” and you will eat eyeballs for breakfast!

PorpusBoy 27/04/2017 01:41

Being new to the game, and online gaming like this in general I don’t know what BM is? What is it?

And WTF is up with the Intro?!?? The intro and the whole “Guide” is rather insulting. Hey Moderators, did you read this? Why hasn’t this been deleted? And here I thought the community was supposed to be friendly.
PopeJohnXII maybe you should read this:

Boss_Smiley 27/04/2017 01:53

BM is short for “Bad Manners”. Which describes bad etiquette in or any behaviour meant to annoy, infuriate, or troll others. You might also hear someone referring to ‘tilting’ someone to refer to targeting people with BM.

As Nettlesoup points out the ‘guide’ seems to be written satirically, in imitation of some of the other behaviour-based guides, most notably the much debated “The Art of Behaving Beautifully”. I’m not a fan of BM or trolling myself, regardless of what level the troll thinks they operate at, but some people do enjoy it and it probably isn’t worth flagging anyway.

Remember, don’t feed the troll.

PorpusBoy 27/04/2017 02:03

Thanks for the info Boss_Smiley. And for the food for thought. I just had to vent a bit, being an American and generally having GM (I think/hope).

PopeJohnXII 27/04/2017 02:53

To be clear, I’m an American, and this article was a complete joke. There are several f2p players up on the leaderboard. Clearly all my advice is absolute BS. This was basically a parody in order to point out a lot of the assumptions that guides on GM generally tend to have. I’m sorry if you were insulted.

PopeJohnXII 27/04/2017 03:11

Also, I hoped that this guide would point out Faeria’s lack of positive emotes. Many of them are neutral, and prone to be interpreted differently than the way you intended by the other side. The fact that I was tempted to buy emote packs so that the emote would mean what I wanted is very telling. Greetings should have a glhf emote. I mean, seriously. Faces would also be productive. Like for instance, animated Avatars with expressions. That way you could express yourself in more ways.

PorpusBoy 27/04/2017 03:34

To PopeJohnXII, thank you for your apology. Apology accepted. I did not know form your post that you were being paradoxical. I have had run-ins with people, both online and in person, who freely say those types of things about Americans.

And yes, what you say about the emotes is absolutely correct. They are rather vague, and easily misunderstood.
Cheers~

Galileus 27/04/2017 06:57

Im sorry, but Im going to be straight to the point and say that the joke failed. Comedy is the art of subverting expectations, yet you played your whole joke straight as an arrow. People already say and write stuff like that, and are being serious about it… there is nothing surprising nor unexpected in your joke guide, and thus, it is not funny. As can be seen with the comments, it rather creates emotions of uncertainty if you are a troll, mean it seriously or just waste people’ time… because parody and satire need to go out of their way to subvert expectations and overblow some or other aspect of the base topic to make sure they are a caricature and not a replica.

It’s like with references. A good referential humor uses it’s reference and twists it to fit it’s own agenda. Bad one (which was a scourge of cinema not so long ago) just takes something someone else did and does it too, then pretending it’s all fine because that was a reference and not a copy.

To make things worse, you take that failed joke and you hammer people over their heads with it. It’s already straight and not working, and you come back to it time and time again. And then some. And then again. You took a joke that could fit in a paragraph at most (and that’s stretching it) and smeared it over whole article until it was falling flatter than a pancake under a road roller.

Sorry to say, your comedy skills need a lot of work.

Amaznazaz 27/04/2017 08:04

[quote=“PorpusBoy, post:5, topic:6181”]
generally have fun with other users.[/quote]

Contradiction? :smile_cat:

PopeJohnXII 30/04/2017 01:35

@Galileus I see where you are coming from, but I’ll let the likes speak for themselves.

Galileus 30/04/2017 02:32

If that’s the stage you’re happy with, sure. Is your call.

Shagric 30/04/2017 12:03

oh god… these comments are pure gold.
great read anyway, improved my game a lot!

MortySmith 30/04/2017 12:23

c’est magnifique
I say that and I don’t even know how to speak french, that’s how [never used emote] this was

XylanderV 09/05/2017 16:47

I am an American and I have spent a little $$ on the game (though I am not really that good yet…not enough games under my belt)…I thought it was pretty funny in some parts, occasionally missing the mark but definitely nothing I would see that could offend anyone… Problem is this generation is way too easily offended imho…

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